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Best LFZ One-Liners

PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2003 8:34 am
by Drew Corleone
With all the negativity we point out at LFZ, it's time to recognize the good stuff...

From now on anything on this site that sucks ass will be refered to as "fran-tastic".


PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2003 10:40 pm
by Makaveli
Another one from Sir Wheeler, regarding Britney Spears:

An insanely hot, young, firm, superstar with enormous cans and more wiggle than a smallmouth bass, who kisses chicks AND loves the President.

PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2003 12:31 pm
by LMQueen
"Anything else is mental masterbation."

What exactly is mental masterbation? :-k

PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2003 1:46 pm
by Bostitch
There was once a thread about female grooming issues. Shaved, versus trimmed or full out bushy, etc. I suggested that true fans should shave in the Longhorn logo. I think one chick said she was going to. Anyway, I don't have the exact quote but I issued what may be the line I am most proud of which went something like this:

"I bet the wheelernics try to talk their women into shaving theirs so they look like a fu-man-chu mustache so when they go down on them they can pretend they are making out with LHB"

PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2003 2:11 pm
by Drew Corleone
That WAS the all-time best LFZ line. It was my sig for a while.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2003 9:45 am
by LMQueen
I like:

"Do you EVER get tired of being a nerd?"

:lol: Made me chuckle.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2003 11:07 am
by Drew Corleone
here is the best one ever, from the "Quincy carter" thread...

[ Namecalling - Strike 1 ]

Uhhhh... Mystery Staff strikes again!

PostPosted: Fri Sep 19, 2003 8:17 am
by Drew Corleone
haha... I'm not gonna buy a black shirt, but this bit of repartee made me chortle...

If you are going to heckle me, make sure and remember that there's nothing you can say that will make a half a shit in my life. If you stroke out mid-heckle and your wife can't resuscitate you, just don't die in the aisle and block the Coke man, cause that's all you can do that will make any difference in my life.

-from who else, but our boy, We-Lur

PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2003 8:03 am
by Drew Corleone
HA! El Aitch Bee with another zinger... in regards to "running 2-3 miles to blow off steam."

You've obviously never been around this group.

We sit and argue for 10 minutes over who's gonna stumble the two to three yards to the keg for everyone's 17th beer while the rest of us sit, smoke, and play poker.

PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2004 8:56 pm
by 12ozLongneck
For those of you not playing along at home, Hooked in Knoxville opined thusly on the "I'm Glad Pat Tillman is Dead" article:

I hope he gets busted in his uncle's stolen auto chop-shop, gets sentenced to prison where his cellies Ramone and Tyrone rename him Mongo and punk his Puerto Rican pendejo a$$ out to general population for ramen noodles and hair nets.


PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2004 8:35 am
by Music City Mafia
Actually, that'd be Hooked in Nashville and thanks for noticing. Regardless of that pendejo's apology, I stand by that statement. I also hope his cellies give him a homemade tattoo of breasts on his back using a Hepatitis/TB?HIV infected ink pen/needle. ;)

PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2004 9:32 am
by Mr. Peabody
Yeah, I liked that post by Hooked in New York.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2004 10:24 am
by Music City Mafia
New York? Get a rope...

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2004 3:59 pm
by Bevo71
I always loved Wheeler's response to an irritating poster's rant:
"A better use of oxygen would be fanning my dog's ass."

PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2004 10:18 pm
by CHBHorn
Totally poor taste to mention a personal one, but it got a bit of a response when posted as an answer to, "I am taking my girlfriend out for her 21st birthday. What should I do?"

The response, "Show up with flowers, take her to dinner at a nice restaurant, let HER decide if sex is on the menu. But if it is, make it anal." :D

PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2004 4:17 am
by nothed
This girl that I work with got mad at me after I met her boyfriend. I told her I never knew she was a lesbian. She informed me that she wasn't, and I had just met her boyfriend. I told her, "If you're fucking that pussy, you must be a lesbian." She hasn't talked to me in about 2 weeks now.

PostPosted: Sun May 23, 2004 2:10 am
by UTwiz

PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2005 2:34 pm
by Phil Elliott
Whenever I am using my cell phone I am reminded of one Wheeler rant about privacy: "If you are using a cell phone, you might as well have a tag in your ear."

PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 3:02 pm
by beam,coke,&horns
Who was in the truck with us in Stillwater when I told that H.S. kid he should've been a BJ? That poor guy got so sad, and our drunken selves laughed all the way back to PErry.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 1:27 pm
by Phil Elliott
Man, I still miss LHB. I sure hope he ain't dead.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 1:56 pm
by Drew Corleone
Nice TTT job... it makes the OP seem very timely!