Random taking a piss question

For people who are not cool enough to be HornMafia, so they try to act like him instead.

Random taking a piss question

Postby TheDean176 on Sat Mar 28, 2009 9:20 am

Obviously too many beers into the nite last nite when a topic of discussion broke out with my girlfriend and her friend. Krista walked in on me taking a piss and first noticed that I only unzipped my pants and didn't undo my belt and button. She thought that this was very strange. IDK. Her and her friend then started quizzing me on the whole pissing ritual and also found it very strange that I take out all the goods (you know the frank and beans) when relieving myself. They just couldn't grasp why I would need anything other than just the hose to piss with. I for one have never thought about it before. They also thought I was weird because I pulled down my underwear instead of using the little escape door on the front of my boxers.

So I guess what I'm (we are) getting at, is my pissing routine weird or is this pretty much the norm with guys?

Step 1. Unzip pants
Step 2. Reach in and lower underwear
Step 3. Pull out hose and the bean bags for hose to rest on
Step 4. Relieve yourself
Step 5. Shake
Step 6. Place manhood back in pants carefully as to not have scary accident with zipper
Step 7. Zip up and flush

:-k
Last edited by TheDean176 on Sat Mar 28, 2009 9:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby MBK271 on Sat Mar 28, 2009 9:40 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:


Yes, that is weird. And dangerous! And and a good way to get piss all over your hands.

The pants should be unbuttoned. And only the hose is necessary.
why don't you run back to the sandbox where the rest of the kids are playing so the adults can have a discussion...it's over there....you see Howie, he's over there with PMS knocking over other kids sandcastles...looks like fun.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby HornMafia on Sat Mar 28, 2009 9:40 am

I do the same above, except that I unbutton the pants.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby 12ozLongneck on Sat Mar 28, 2009 10:11 am

bean bags for hose to rest on


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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby txlonghorn47 on Sat Mar 28, 2009 10:52 am

I only unzip, but I then use the escape door on my boxers and only pull out the hose.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby 'Hornbybirth on Sat Mar 28, 2009 11:44 am

My attire determines the process. If I'm dressed up, like at work; belt, dress shirt, slacks etc. Then I only unzip and pull out what's necessary. If I'm in shorts/ t-shirt type attire then I'm likely to let it air out. No trap door usage in either case.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby Makaveli on Sat Mar 28, 2009 12:02 pm

It cracks me up when I see somebody ...how do I say this.... Urinate without unbuttoning or unzipping anything. When they're wearing shorts, they just pull them up their leg a little...or a lot.

I couldn't even do that if I wanted to. I hope it's because my shorts are too long....
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby TheDean176 on Sat Mar 28, 2009 1:53 pm

It cracks me up when I see a grown man still peeing with their pants around their ankles. I work with two of them.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby txlonghorn47 on Sat Mar 28, 2009 2:35 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

You mean the little boy pee? Flounder finds it funny to do that in crowded restrooms such as a ballgame. I didn't know anybody over the age of 6 still did that on a regular basis though.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby 'Hornbybirth on Sat Mar 28, 2009 4:51 pm

There is a huge overweight guy that works with me that does that. It makes it all that much more uncomfortable to walk around the corner and see 450 pounds of gross with his pants around his ankles. =;
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby U2-Horn on Sat Mar 28, 2009 5:12 pm

unbutton + unzip pants, weiner comes out over the underwear, balls stay safe inside
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby Makaveli on Sat Mar 28, 2009 5:57 pm

Another one that cracks me up.

The "no hands" is funny enough, but even better when they're waving both arms along with their conversation.

If I Tried that I'd probably pee in my face...or at least all over the wall.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby UTwiz on Sat Mar 28, 2009 6:49 pm

Since I haven't worn any kind of underwear in a decade, I can bypass one of the hurdles. It goes:

Unzip only.

Hose only.

Shake.

Replace.

Look both ways before crossing street again with zipper.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby MBK271 on Sat Mar 28, 2009 7:16 pm

U2 has it right.


But my Lord this thread has me laughing. Probably because I'm drunk but that is beside the point.

J, this just lets me know that every time I see you, your pants are soiled with piss.

Don't get too close to him. Actually, piss is steril so you are ok.
why don't you run back to the sandbox where the rest of the kids are playing so the adults can have a discussion...it's over there....you see Howie, he's over there with PMS knocking over other kids sandcastles...looks like fun.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby U2-Horn on Sat Mar 28, 2009 9:00 pm

He's out there and he's LOVIN' EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby LMQueen on Sat Mar 28, 2009 9:30 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
OMG this thread is funny.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby UTwiz on Sat Mar 28, 2009 11:26 pm

MBK271 wrote:J, this just lets me know that every time I see you, your pants are soiled with piss.



Actually, I allow some extra stoppage time for the excess drip, so my pants keep their new car smell most of the time. Usually shipshape unless I'm drunk, and then all bets are off. Which, coincidently, is every time you happen to see me. So yah, pretty much what you said earlier applies.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby 12ozLongneck on Sun Mar 29, 2009 12:34 am

Still don't understand why anyone would bother fishing their nads out to take a piss.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby tamut98 on Sun Mar 29, 2009 1:26 pm

The real question is how many of you guys got up to go verify your routine and then took notes before replying to this thread!

Please tell me you all at least wash your hands sometime during this process. I would hate to meet you guys for the first or second time and refuse to shake your hands because I am all too aware of your bathroom habits thanks to this thread.
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby Mr. Peabody on Sun Mar 29, 2009 10:27 pm

I always take a short test piss before commencing with the real piss.

gotta make sure the dick head tip is not partially glued. No one likes double or triple streamers. It can make a mess on the floor.

proper way is to do a very short test piss. If all is okay, just continue.

If you have double or triple split streamers, a pinch or squeeze on the head is necessary.

just my two cents
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Re: Random taking a piss question

Postby Makaveli on Mon Mar 30, 2009 9:32 pm

:lol:
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