Two work random thoughts

For people who are not cool enough to be HornMafia, so they try to act like him instead.

Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby LMQueen on Tue Nov 10, 2009 5:07 pm

Ha!

I am all in favor of a Sick Leave Pool for people with catastrophic conditions, but pregnancy should not qualify.
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby 'Hornbybirth on Tue Nov 10, 2009 6:29 pm

12ozLongneck wrote:1.These filthy slags need to leave me the hell alone and rack up some vacation time before the next time they get drunk and spread their legs.!


How else is Chay going to keep up his streak of "gettin' lucky?"

O:)
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby 12ozLongneck on Tue Jun 08, 2010 3:37 pm

Dear girl that I work with,

Don't want me to make an oblique reference to the 15 or 20 pounds you've gained since I started working here? Don't point out the fact that I'm sprouting gray hairs.

Love,

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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby 12ozLongneck on Tue Jan 03, 2012 4:50 pm

I just had a conversation about whether or not it was appropiate for a contractor to charge a large charitable donation made in lieu of flowers on the occasion of a beloved employee's death in a freak snowmobile/avalanche incident to "Indirect Business Meals." I'm only 9 hours into 2012 at work and I already fucking hate it.
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby BarryBnds on Tue Jan 03, 2012 6:20 pm

Had a girl at work tell me 2 weeks ago that she had 1 vacation day and 3 sick days left and wasn't able to schedule her sick days in the system before the end of the year.
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby Music City Mafia on Wed Jan 04, 2012 1:04 pm

Dear colleague who serves as a liaison to our travel vendor:

The next time the vendor rep emails you with an offer of free bowl tickets for you and your loved one, you might tell her not to hit "reply all" to a non-related email as her vehicle for communicating said offer. Besides pissing off most of the recipients of a "reply all" (in this case, the entire organization), that approach also guarantees that you and the ethics and compliance officer - who was also a recipient - will be spending some quality time together. Dumb arse.
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby 12ozLongneck on Mon Apr 02, 2012 12:05 pm

Why does management say that something is "voluntary but highly encouraged" when they mean "you don't have to do this, but it will be held against you if you don't"?
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby 12ozLongneck on Wed May 09, 2012 1:19 pm

My female coworker just informed me that she is in a relationship where she is having unprotected sex for the first time and that sometimes her boyfriend's fun leaks out of her if she sneezes within a few hours of completion of the sex act. I don't know what the fuck would cause someone to tell a coworker that, but I think I need to take sick leave for the rest of the day.
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby ChuckNorrisHorn on Wed May 09, 2012 2:52 pm

is she hot?
It was basically like starring in a bukkake video with Charlie the Tuna.


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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby 12ozLongneck on Wed May 09, 2012 3:53 pm

Nobody is hot enough that I want to consider some other dude's splooge leaking out of her vag.
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby dahorns on Thu May 10, 2012 11:17 am

12ozLongneck wrote:My female coworker just informed me that she is in a relationship where she is having unprotected sex for the first time and that sometimes her boyfriend's fun leaks out of her if she sneezes within a few hours of completion of the sex act. I don't know what the fuck would cause someone to tell a coworker that, but I think I need to take sick leave for the rest of the day.



damn, gotta clean the coffee I sprayed all over my computer monitor... thanks for the laugh, needed it today
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby 'Hornbybirth on Thu May 10, 2012 2:47 pm

That was indeed a great laugh, Kevin! Thanks!
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby 12ozLongneck on Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:04 am

There is a food truck that serves "Mexican/Korean fusion cuisine" in the parking lot. Does that mean that a pregnant 15 year old high school dropout is going to serve me dog meat?
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby 12ozLongneck on Fri Nov 09, 2012 9:43 am

So Leaky Vag Girl and I are back on good terms after a rather large falling out regarding certain people at the office who don't work anywhere near 40 hours a week.

She informed me that she is currently not partaking in sexual activity right now due to the fact that she thinks she might be addicted to it. Why the hell would you tell people you work with shit like this?
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby U2-Horn on Fri Nov 09, 2012 9:47 am

She clearly wants you.
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Two work random thoughts

Postby HornMafia on Fri Nov 09, 2012 10:12 am

Get some.
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby MBK271 on Fri Nov 09, 2012 10:21 am

Agreed.

Yall are back on good terms because she wants some of Kevin.
why don't you run back to the sandbox where the rest of the kids are playing so the adults can have a discussion...it's over there....you see Howie, he's over there with PMS knocking over other kids sandcastles...looks like fun.
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby BarryBnds on Fri Nov 09, 2012 10:54 am

Definitely sounds like she's throwing a bobber in the water to see if you bite.
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby txlonghorn47 on Fri Nov 09, 2012 11:07 am

Ask her if she's good at it. Haha.
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Two work random thoughts

Postby LMQueen on Fri Nov 09, 2012 11:19 am

(HR manager hat on) Do not have these types of conversations at work. (HR manager hat on)
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby 12ozLongneck on Fri Nov 09, 2012 11:36 am

Yeah. I do not believe in getting my meat where I get my bread.
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Two work random thoughts

Postby LMQueen on Fri Nov 09, 2012 12:16 pm

Excellent philosophy. 9 times out of 10 it would be the man who takes the fall for a hostile environment sexual harassment case. And you probably already have a file started... ;)
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby 12ozLongneck on Fri Nov 09, 2012 12:20 pm

Wait.. Did I mention that when she said that she wasnt engaging in sexual activity that I responded by saying "That's what you think!", throwing her onto my desk and putting it in her butt? I figure that might be relevant.
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Two work random thoughts

Postby LMQueen on Fri Nov 09, 2012 1:16 pm

Hostile environment could be a co-worker overhearing the conversation and reporting it, even if they have nothing to do with the conversation.
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Re: Two work random thoughts

Postby 12ozLongneck on Fri Nov 09, 2012 1:28 pm

Oh. I know. I drop the hammer on that shit pretty quickly. I wont even stay at the same hotel as this girl if we're at the regional office in Irving for training at the same time.
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