Enjoy a laugh at my expense

[12ozLongneck]

Public service announcement: If you ever strain a muscle near your business, think things through before you use Maximum Strength Ben Gay to alleviate the soreness if Advil isn't getting the job done. You remember the part in Revenge of the Nerds where the nerds put Icy Hot or whatever on the jock straps? That's pretty much how things went down.

[MBK271]

:lol::lol:



Sadly, I've performed the same mistake. I guess I should've issued a PSA.

[txlonghorn47]

Yep made the same mistake at a softball tourney a couple years back.

Burns like all hell.

['Hornbybirth]

I inadvertantly got pepper spray on my junk one time.

I could have killed the meter man that sprayed my dog once I figured out that it was he that had sprayed it where I touched and then went back inside to take a piss. That is how the transfer was made.

BAD mistake!

[Reinheitsgebot]

Vicks vapor rub has a fraction of the tingle, and will help with the inflamation

opens things up really well

[12ozLongneck]

I've gotten in the habit of taking my lunch to work every day because 1. It's cheaper 2. I tend to eat better and 3. I can be done w/ lunch in like 10 minutes and get back to working and get the f out of the office sooner.

I ran out of the deli chicken I bought, so I pull a can of tuna out of the pantry. I open the top and, as I'm trying to drain all of the liquid out of the can into the sink, disaster strikes. I'm not really sure how to describe what happened. I have the can tilted towards me and I'm holding the bottom with my hands and pushing down on the lid with my thumbs. As I push on the lid to get some of the gross tuna water out, the whole thing more or less explodes and all of this tuna sludge squirts out of the can around the sides of the lid and into my face. It was basically like starring in a bukkake video with Charlie the Tuna. I just spent 30 minutes in the shower and I still don't feel clean.

Fuck this shit. I'm just going to go to McDonald's every day and become a fucking fatass.

[ChuckNorrisHorn]

the ben gay part of this thread was equally as funny partly because i just pulled my groin muscle playing softball...

[Simon Honeybone]

My lone issue was going to the restroom after eating some of the hottest wings on earth.

My best friend in high school talked his little brother into putting Flexall 454 on his junk for a buck

[Drew Corleone]

I've gotten in the habit of taking my lunch to work every day because 1. It's cheaper 2. I tend to eat better and 3. I can be done w/ lunch in like 10 minutes and get back to working and get the f out of the office sooner.

I ran out of the deli chicken I bought, so I pull a can of tuna out of the pantry. I open the top and, as I'm trying to drain all of the liquid out of the can into the sink, disaster strikes. I'm not really sure how to describe what happened. I have the can tilted towards me and I'm holding the bottom with my hands and pushing down on the lid with my thumbs. As I push on the lid to get some of the gross tuna water out, the whole thing more or less explodes and all of this tuna sludge squirts out of the can around the sides of the lid and into my face. It was basically like starring in a bukkake video with Charlie the Tuna. I just spent 30 minutes in the shower and I still don't feel clean.

Fuck this shit. I'm just going to go to McDonald's every day and become a fucking fatass.

I don;t know of anyone outside of Kevin that would ever conjure up that line. Well done, sir.

[12ozLongneck]

So I was feeling lazy when I left work and didn't go to they gym on the way home. I sit around my place and continue to be lazy until I feel sufficiently guilty about not getting any exercise today in spite of the fact that my apartment's gym is literally right under my apartment.

I go downstairs and get to work. About 10 minutes into things, I am sitting on a bench resting between sets and hear a knock on the window. What do I see when I turn around? One fat bitch and one kind of chubby bitch are fucking mooning me.

Moral of the story? Go ahead and be lazy.

Edit: I thought about whipping out my cock, but decided that being a registered sex offender would probably put my clearance in jeopardy.

[LMQueen]

That story just made my day.